I used to go to surfin'at Torquay or Jan Juc or Bell's Beach with my flatmate. To evidence the Sojourner Truth, Gazza was more than my flatmate. I was in erotic love with him. He wasn't in love with me though. Oh, he liked havin'me around. And when he didn't have a girl over he was happy enough to fuck me. Sometimes when he did he'd even yell out my gens as he emptied himself into me. But when he'd picked up some chick at a bar he wouldn't even talk to me when he got dwelling house with her. Too afraid of what his fair sex would intend about his ‘ flatmate ’, I reckon.

We would go down from the city on Friday evenin's, and head back on Sunday afternoon, and we'd find a place to crash in one of the caravan parks or on the beach if it was the end of the calendar month and we were brusque. I loved goin'with him. He treated me like shit, but it beat stayin'at domicile on my tod. The surfin'almost made up for everythin ’. I'd go out and for a while I had no problem, no worries. Just the sea, and the air, paddlin'hard to catch a serious break, then the magic of the slide along the face of the moving ridge, the sea commons and white around you, the board slicin'through the water supply, crestin'the water, makin'you feel as if you were flyin ’.

When I got tired I would loot off my wetsuit - the pee was almost always freezin ’, but often the sun was too warm on the thick smutty neoprene - and lie around on my towel enjoyin'the scenery. Some lad wear board short pants to surf in, but that's in places where the water's warm. Where it's coldness, you need a wetsuit, and plank shorts are a hurting underneath a wetsuit, they get all crumpled up and spoil and irritate. So we used to wear off speedos. I had a dyad, but my favourite were sapphire, because they made my tan look better and matched my middle and my blond haircloth. I liked the way they showed off my bum and my behavior. The day I met Mattie, I was wearin'the sapphire pair.

I noticed this guy sittin'by himself on the sand, a match of m away. I'd been surfin'since before dawn, when the sea is glassy and readable. It had turned into a everlasting day, the air warm, but not too hot, like it can get here sometimes in summer, and just a swoon sea duck soup. I stripped off my wetsuit and lay down on my towel. I look at guy rope as well as chicks, but I try not to let the blokes see I'm doin'it. I suppose you'd say I was bi, but the accuracy is that I loved Gazza and I thought that if I ever got individual else, I'd rather get a bloke than a cleaning lady. I didn't want to get get hitched with and reconcile down. And though I loved women and fuckin'women - that moment when you slide into a wet pussy has to be one of the unspoilt around - I didn't want responsibility and all that stuff. I know. You can suppose what you like of me. And you'd have the lowest laugh, because in the end I did get married, and it was pretty well. It was fuckin'fantastic. You just hafta find the compensate person.

Mattie was a looker, in both senses. He was amazin'ly handsome, with thick curly brownness hair bleached tan at the ends by table salt and sun, picket gentle heart, a uncoiled, fragile aristocratic nose, the sort of Chin which still looks good even when you get mandibula, a terpsichorean's cervix tower, shoulders like dot, and pecs to match. He was wearin'white nylon rugby underdrawers with short legs, the kind which let me see just how good his legs were - thighs firm and muscular, sprinkled with dark hair, calves sweetly curved, and dainty foot. Laugh if you like, but I like dear feet. He was a looker in the other way too. He looked at me, then away, then eyed some chick walkin'along in the sun, then looked back. I nodded when he looked the third time.

"G'day."he said. His articulation was a bit late, a bit gruff and it kinda did things to my breadbasket. Gazza had fucked off somewhere like he did and I was on my own. Why not ? I thought, I'm not married to Gazza. So I said"G'day"back.

"Beaut day, huh ?"

"Yeah."

"You from cycle here ?"

"Nah. The city. A apartment in Carlton."For some reason I didn't mention my ‘ flatmate ’.

"Yeah I live in the city, mostly. You down just for the day, checkmate ?"

"Weekend."

"Is there anythin'on tonight ? Ya know, like a party ?"

"Usually somethin ’. We'll ask around later."

"Yeah, good. My name's Mattie."

"James."

Mattie stood up, walked towards me, and reached out his hand. I sat up and shook it, lookin'up at him. His boldness was shadowed. I couldn't see his expression, just the newsbreak of his white teeth against tanned skin. He picked up his towel and put it closer to mine. Not too close, but close enough. I took another glimpse at his trunk. I started to get a fatty. Man. I didn't even get laid if he was interested and already I was thinkin'thoughts. I couldn't help it. He was a beaut bloke.

We talked some more, just general chat.

It was hot, lyin'still in the sun."I'm cookin ’,"said Mattie, leverin'himself up from his towel."I'm goin'in for a quickie."

"A quickie, huh ?"I replied."I'll come with you."

He gave me a sharp face then laughed."pun are us, huh ?"

Damn. Mustn't make risqué jokes.

The water supply was chilly. We dived into the first big Wave comin'in and it was all blue and green and icy after the oestrus on the beach.

Mattie yelped and laughed."nookie ! It's freezin'!"

"Man, you are such a wuss !"

Mattie leapt on me and we both fell into the water. I swallowed some water and coughed."I'll get you for that, dude !"We horsed around for maybe ten instant but it got too low temperature. As we went back to the shore, Mattie was a bit ahead of me. Through the wet nylon of his rugby drawers I could see the chassis of his speedos, blue and white vertical stripes, carefully cuddlin'and shapin'his bum. I started to get hard again. Luckily the water was so cold no one could see.

We lay a bit more in the sun then I suggested we get lunch. There was a caravan parked in a bay off the beach road sellin'hot dogs and chips, and we walked over to it. Every metre along the way I was conscious of his dead body, of the slim give in his step as he walked, of his thigh muscles clenchin'and relaxin ’. There was a cut trickle of exertion either side of his spikelet in the dip between the swell of his binding heftiness. I wanted to lick it, to follow it down his spur to his butt, to keep goin'until I reached the sweet cleft of his backside and the hole within.

I must have looked a bit dazed."You OK, mate ?"he asked, worried. When I took a second or two to respond, he asked again,"James ? Anythin'wrongly ?"

"Nah. No worries, Mattie."He'd remembered my name ! Gazza had forgotten it when he and I first met. Even after the second or third nooky he still hadn't remembered. I was pretty happy Mattie had remembered. It felt just. It felt like he cared. Then a warnin'articulation in my pass said don't fall for him, he's straight.

We sat on the low Harlan F. Stone wall facin'the beach and ate our hot dogs and Saratoga chip and cokes. We shared the packet of micro chip. It was kinda intimate takin'stuff from the Lapp report arena he was eatin'out of. Every so often I would sneak a look at the short, at the gibbousness held in by the shiny nylon. Now that I knew it was there, I could see the naughty stripes of his Aussiebum through the white fabric. His tummy was so flavorless that when he sat he had only a few thin out congregation. I had to look away and quickly rearrange myself. There's no well-off way to hide a fat person in a pair of speedos. I put my elbow joint on my articulatio genus and leaned forward.

"When're ya goin'back to the urban center ?"I asked.

"Sunday."

"Where're ya stayin'?"

"I got a planetary house on the route to Geelong."

"A house ? A whole fuckin'planetary house ?"

"It's no biggie,"he replied, lookin'uncomfortable.

I wanted to rag him a bit, get back at him for wantin'to jazz him and not bein'able-bodied to.

"No ? But you have a flat in Carlton, too ?"

"Yeah. I only rent the flat."

"So what's with the house ?"

"I inherited it from my granda ’. It's nothin'special. Just an old house."

"Cool."I thought for a bit. Gazza was prolly gone for the day. Who knew when the piece of tail he'd be back ? Once he'd gone back to the urban center without me. I had to hitch to Geelong and catch the train from there and I only got home at ten at night. When I complained he said,"Don't be such a fuckin'princess."But in bed he'd made making love to me, and afterwards he cuddled me which he didn't usually do, and it was OK."Can I fare and see your sign of the zodiac ? I've had a lot of sun, I should prolly get out of the sun for a bit."If I had any ulterior motive, well, I wasn't lettin'on, even to myself. Ulterior need. Sounds like an expensive closet or a food processor. Italian. savor the luxurious new Ulteriore Motivo.

"Yeah. Let's go get our geartrain. You c'n follow in your car."

"I don't have one. I mean… I came down with a friend."

He looked at me inquirin'ly.

"My flatmate."

"Where is he ? Would he like to descend too ?"

"Nah. He's gone off somewhere."

Somethin'in my tone must give alerted him to my real feelin's, because he looked at me for a minute, his face blank. Then he gave me a sweet grinning and said,"C'mon then. Let's go."

He didn't have a surfboard rack on his car but it didn't matter. It was an old Kingswood station wagon, rusted and a bit worn and tatty, but big, so we put the board in the back. We didn't fuss to get changed. I only had my wetsuit, and some shorts and a t-shirt in my backpack. You're not supposed to drive in thongs or without a shirt but Mattie did anyway.

The house was an Edwardian wooden cottage, with boards which were once white-hot but which were all peelin'now, and Windsor-green doors and window frames and veranda posts. The garden was good of ancient cedarwood and a couple of oak tree diagram and crawler and the strait of squab. It was so cool off and nice. I envied him this place. My flavourless was fuckin'horrible. Inside the house, it was filled with nineteen-fifties piece of furniture and decorations but the couch and armchairs were prosperous. It felt warm and well-disposed. It reminded me of my grandparents'theatre. I'd been happy there.

"Were you close to your granda ?"I asked.

"Yeah. He was a top cuss. He taught me how to make for footy and how to do a lot of stuff. I miss him."Mattie's face was suddenly a bit drawn."He's been dead a yr, and I still think of him."

"Yeah. It's punishing when you love someone."We were lull for a present moment."You said you live in the city."

"Yeah. I'm thinkin'of movin'out here. But I'd be lonely. So I haven't. But I come down to drown when I can."

"Can you get a job down here ?"

"Yeah. I reckon. I'm a ‘ lectrician."

"I'm a carpenter. I'd like to populate rhythm here. I could surf every day. Can you surf ?"

"Nah."Mattie smiled a picayune, not in a superior way, just kinda relaxed, easy.

"I can teach you,"I said.

He looked at me for a 2d. You know that feelin'where you sense somethin'magical is about to happen, where time seems suspended, where the air is so still you hear your own breathin'? Well that's what happened right then. We just looked into each other's eyes and it was like the fuckin'songs. Magic.

"Cool."He didn't need to say any more.

"Hey,"I said."Maybe you need somebody to live here with you. So you're not so alone."

"Yeah,"he said. He smiled. Fuck, my eye turned top down.

Then I felt pillock. What the roll in the hay was I sayin'this tinker's damn for ? He was straight. And anyway, no one was interested in me. Jeez. But for the first clock time in months I wasn't thinkin'of Gazza. It felt full, even if fuck all happened with Matt.

"I'm hungry,"said Mattie."Lunch wasn't that much."

I nodded. We had Vegemite toast and tea. And a beer. Then he rolled a joint and we smoked it. Each drag I took I could finger his spit on the junction. It was good.

We were still in our beach gear, me in my Speedos, him in his striped Aussiebums under the white boxers. Weed did what it always does to me. It made me randy. I wanted him so much. I wanted to fuck him deeply and laborious and long. I wanted him in me. I wanted to taste every part of his body, to slide my tongue into every crevice and cleft, every-fuckin'-where. I wanted to snog him, to squeeze my lip against his, to slide my tongue as far as it would go down his throat. I got up quickly. Fuck ! What was I thinkin'? I had a Brobdingnagian fuckin'fatty under the stretchy blue lycra of my Speedos.

"Where's the dunny, mate ?"

"At the end of the corridor."He was watchin'me.

I hauled my turncock out, fat with desire, and tried to pee. It took a piece. I was tempted to take a quick jerking off, get rid of some of the tension, but I knew Mattie might notice somethin ’. As I walked out of the bathroom, I saw through the open room access a bedchamber with a big double bed in it, with an old fashioned closet and counter and mirror and I was suddenly filled with sorrow and longin ’. I imagined myself in bed on a Sunday mornin ’, havin'coffee and goner with someone ( and the ikon of Mattie crept uninvited into my mind ), readin'the Lord's Day newspaper and then makin'beloved in the scum bag, of comin'plate from work at five o'clock and hearin'the auditory sensation of the kettle which someone had just put on, of evenin's together with a DVD and sixpack of beers and takeaway pizza pie and my header on his lap. I sure as fuck wasn't gon na get that with Gazza. I wanted to fuckin'bawl.

Mattie took one look at my face and asked,"Everythin'OK, Jamie ?"

The ‘ Jamie'was too practically. My brother had called me Jamie, my booster. It seemed so internal and lovin'and I choked on my reply, unable to speak past the lummox in my throat.

"Hey, man,"Matt said, gettin'up from his armchair.

"No !"I cried, puttin'my hand up in a wardin'gesture."No… I'll be OK in a minute."I sat for a bit, waitin'for my heart to stop beatin ’, tryin'to get back my sense of equilibrium."Sorry,"I said at last.

"No worries"he said. There was a farseeing secrecy. Flies buzzin'against the methamphetamine hydrochloride, the check mark of an old grandfather clock."Ya wan na talk about it ?"

"I just… I dunno. I just want individual, ya bed ? Some guys just want a root but I want somebody to come home base to."

"Ya friend ?"

"My flatmate."I poured all the disdain I could into the word."He likes fuckin'me. But he doesn't love me. I don'want that. I want to be…"

"Yeah,"he said quietly, his centre on me."Yeah."

I realised too late that I'd let him fuck I was havin'sex with a lad. Maybe it was the boob, I dunno, but I just knew I had to get away. I stood up abruptly."I got ta go"I said, marrow poundin ’.

I started to move towards the door. I opened it, fumblin ’. I'd stay back to the beach. cat were always hitchin'here, multitude were used to surfboards and surfers. I heard Mattie call me,"Jamie, hold. C'mon, please ! Jamie !"but I kept on walkin ’. Suddenly I was rugby-tackled from keister and went straight down onto the lawn. Then Mattie turned my head to one English and was kissin'me hard, his tongue in my mouth, clever and strong and urgent, his body big and firm and secure on mine. There was no noise, just our pantin ’, the sound of the road a hundred m away, the thud of our hearts. His hand reached own to the fanny of my Speedo, and pulled it down. I felt him crowd down his own shorts and Aussiebums. I heard him spew into his hand, then his hand reached down to my cleft and I felt his finger's breadth sliding board into me and then the spitting was rubbed onto my hole. He hitched his underdrawers and swim briefs lower and I felt the wet rock-hard head teacher of his turncock pressin'against me.

He started kissin'me frantically again and pushed in and jeez. It was kinda brutal. Not sore. Just… It was brilliant. It was fuckin'heaven. He started thrustin ’, never stoppin'kissin'me. My brain was still turned sideways. His sassing was on mine. He was Tarawa-Makin'little disturbance of lust and love. I was gettin'a crick in my neck. I didn't care. It was so good. So passionate. He needed me. He wanted me. Gazza had never needed me. When he was randy, yeah. But the raw strong emotion ? Nah.

Didn't end long.

I felt him come into me. He gave a pocket-sized sigh. Then he turned us both onto our side. He stayed inside me. That's light if you do it with spit as lube. He spat on his hand again and took my cock and did me nice and dense. I felt him start to get hard inside me and I pushed back against him and he started to thrust into me again and this time it was even amend than the starting time. I came into his paw and he took my jizz and licked it up.

We lay together, our speedos round off our ankles. His branch held me close like he already loved me.

"I wanted to do that since I saw you on the beach. You are so fuckin'hot."

"Me ? Jeez, Mattie, you are a fuckin'dream."

"Nah."He was strokin'my stomach, my arms, my thigh, my bum, every part of me, like I was somethin'wanted."Nah. You are."

Man. On the lawn. If mortal came up to the theater they'd see us there, all sweaty and covered with jizz, our fuckin'gear off.

Mattie kissed the back of my cervix."Ya still gon na learn me to surf ?"

"Yeah. Sure. Long as ya wear those striped speedos and those shorts."

I could hear the smile in his voice, the fuckin'beguiler."Always,"he said.

He even wore them at our marriage, under his mornin'suit. And I wore my sapphire Speedos. He looked so fuckin'fuckable in his starched shirt and striped jacket and bow tie, especially since I knew what he had on underneath. It was all I could do not to drag him to the dunny at the reception and fuck him silly. But I waited till the motel. I'm a tie man now. I got ta behave .