We all call up our starting time sexual encounter. Mine was over the Christmas respite my elder year of in high spirits school. I had gotten money from my grandparents for Christmas. I called up a couple of young woman to see if they wanted to go to catch a movie. They weren't home or not able to go. So, I called marker. He was More than eager to go. He was shortsighted than me with the straightest hair in the world, large brown eyes, and powerful torso. I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I was a virgin and the most I had ever done in my life was kiss a girl. I was 18 and had not even masturbated. Now it wasn't that I had not thought about sex and desired it. I talked about it. I wanted it. I just didn't know how to get it. I was a desirable guy too.

Now all the girls wrote in my yearbook"to the cunning boy ”. I was cute with light blue eyes and sandy colored pilus.

I had dated girls but had always wonder if I could be gay. More than once I had seen mark defenseless. And I always made surely to wait at his beautiful, big cock and nice body. But I didn't want to be queer.

Now this was a sentence that the worst matter in the earthly concern you could be was gay if you were in school. It was a tag you did not want to have. To be considered a pansy meant that your life in richly School would be a living Inferno. If a person was attracted to the Sami sex, you dare not separate anyone.

For me, I was not sure what I was. Even though I wondered if I were homosexual, I dare not to blab to any one about it. It was a reverence. What would find to me if I were gay ? I kept my mentation to myself.

Before this Nox, over a year before, Mark had invited me to spend the night at his house after our first couple acting meet. We were assigned to be partners. We had progressed to the next day with our senior high school marking. It was recent when we got to his house. We went up to his room. I asked how he slept, and he said naked. I said that I would too though I never had. We stripped off our dress trying to look at each other quickly. He had a defined chest with spiritualist size of it pap. His trunk was hairless except for the dark Bush from which his expectant flaccid dick hung from. I did look a bit foresighted but did not stare. He saw my flat bureau that was like a circuit board down to my thick bush and big dick. Our cocks appeared to be the Sami size.

We climbed in bed and talked about being naked, sex and such. We both had never done anything. He claimed to have walked naked holding a girlfriend's hand, but he was lying. I at least had barely kissed a girl. As neither of us had ever French Kissed, I suggested that maybe we learn how to do it together as girls do that so we would jazz what we were doing. He said no. I had wanted to kiss his lips with mine and slide my tongue in his mouth and taste his. He was not taking my sweetener. I had to keep my cover. No one could know that I wanted to kiss a boy.

Soon he wanted to show me something in his bathroom that connected to his room. We headed off au naturel with me in front. I turned around to ask him something and there he stood inches from me. Our semi erect phallus were touching. Mine was just on top of his. There we were naked looking down at our manhood together. Neither of us said anything-frozen in time. I took my paw and held our two stopcock together-mine on top of his. I wanted to fall to my human knee and make sexual love to his tool that was so ready for a warm mouth but was afraid. He had not responded positively to my confidential information. If I went down on him and he rebuked me and told, my life would be come a living hell. There was such a sinewy urge. I wanted it. My knees wanted to buckle and precipitate to the ground. Yet, I turned and went to the bathroom where cypher happened.

I dropped trace wanting to give birth some"fun"together over the next month but nothing. He would never spend the night at my business firm nor go camping with me. I still had hope.

Then he invited me to expend the Night again after another sports meeting. He told his parents ( as he could not drive ) that they would not have to take him early on Saturday daybreak to school. I would motor him. Now this meter, things were a bit different. He set the bed up so that I would receive to climb over him to get to my bed. Later it hit me, he wanted my au naturel body to crawl over him but did not figure that out until too late.

His family was gone when we arrived. We went to his bedchamber and he stripped naked and jumped under the covers. I had a programme. I did a strip tease dance for him throwing my wear off one bit at a time. I made it as erotic as I could. By the clip I peeled off my underclothes my big, thick 7-inch shaft was swollen solid. It shot upwards like a rocket that was blasting off to the superstar. I danced around his way until I was a couple of feet from him when I began thrusting back and forth causing my engorged peter to swing up to hit my belly button, back down and then back up to slap against my breadbasket. I did it again and again. My desire had been to arouse him, then crawl on to his bed and sit my ass upon his groins. Then rub my ass cheeks over his rooster.

To my disappointment, he watched every motion but moved both of his hand over his putz so that I could not say if he were erect or not. My programme was dashed, but I did not give up. I crawled on to his bed with my hard hawkshaw and placed it an inch from his mouth and said,"Dare you to suck it."He didn't.

I crawled into my bed on the former side of meat of him. Soon I made excuse after self-justification to cringe back over him with my naked physical structure but nothing. Now he did suggest I do a couple of things which did require me to take my naked consistency over him which usually caused my prick to skid across his body. That was it. I gave up on Mark. He was not interested it appeared. One did take to be careful.

By Christmas jailbreak, I had moved on. Still I hadn't had sex with anyone. Yet this Night when he got into the car, things were different. He was talking about gay sex. He said that every guy tries it once. It was Mark trying to grade not me. After the movie, he brought it up again. I was getting hot and horny. Soon I accepted his go, and now it was just trying to get hold a secure shoes to get naked.

Eventually we did. I asked if we should start out with foreplay. I wanted to buss him and experience my hands on his eubstance."No,"he said. He pulled his pants to his knees, then peeled his Caucasian legal brief down revealing his thick 7-inch hardon. I was bequeath to go first but afraid that after giving him a blow job he would turn on me, pull his pants up, and cry me a fag. I was nervous but wanted his dick. I had never sucked turncock and never seen it done so I went forward with all the eagerness of a tiro. It was so heavily yet so very sonant. There was no uncanny taste. I wanted to make it expert for him but didn't know how for surely. My rima oris bobbed up and down the long shot. I had read a account book where a guy liked having his balls sucked so I moved to his nuts. They were tight against his consistency, but I was able to get them into my lip. As I tried to swallow up his glob, I wanted to stroke his penis with my hand but didn't because I thought that would be gay ( yes, I know that is strange-sucking a stopcock is gayer than stroking a shaft, but it was fear ). I stopped after a few minutes and undid my jeans and pulled them down with my underwear. Mark leaned over to take up my dick. I was most foiled when I saw that he had put his pants back on. I had wanted to play with his cute ass and cock as he took my Virgin dick in his mouth.

soft touch sucked me, but it was only pleasant. There was no pulsing from deep inside me. It was just a nice feeling. I am a guy who has never jerked off in his life. The exclusively sexual release I had ever had was nocturnal expelling. I was getting my first snow job. You think that I would be ready to blow. I wasn't even close when he stopped. It really hadn't done anything for me. It made me think that maybe I wasn't gay.

We talked about fucking. He wanted to sleep with. I asked him how he like the blow job. He said that he loved it. He asked me, I told him that it was okay, and I didn't think that I was gay. I had put cross in the spot of admitting his poove condition to me and I had rejected the badge. He was now vulnerable. If I revealed he liked gay sex, his life would become a living hell. I wouldn't and didn't do it. We went home.

Things were never the Saami for us after that. When school day started again, he wouldn't speak to me. I wanted to be friend still. I wanted us to stay friends. I told him that after school, I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted to chip in him my cherry. He would not discover of it. He walked away in anger. Our friendship was over.

Later that week another guy wanted to sustain sex with me, and I turned it down based on my experience with patsy. I soon had a lady friend and lost my virginity. I thought that I must be straight.

Time went on and twelvemonth later, I realized that I wasn't straight. I learned that I like blow caper, but they are not what makes me shoot my load. I need foreplay. For me lips and tongues playing together starts the fire. I love the feel of a man's body. There is the pleasant-tasting taste of a teat in my mouth. The marvelous feeling of a firmly dick. It is brilliant to bury a lingua into a dulcet ass fix. Then there is that thrill of pounding a mean hole with my big dick and hearing my man moan with delight and to have his body start up to twitch in cristal as I listen to the sound of my balls slapping against him with every thrust.

When I discovered the Sojourner Truth about myself, I went looking for Mark. I wanted to have him be my first. I could not witness him for the farseeing time.

Later I discovered some things about Mark. Before I knew him, his parents had caught him fooling around with another boy. He must have had the infernal region beat out of him by them. When I offered myself to him, he was terrified of what would happen to him if they found out. They were just downstairs. His parents were not going to have a queen son. When he came out, they cut him off. I later realized that he wanted it as much as I did but was afraid. He wasn't allowed to sleep over at anyone else's mansion because they were not going to let him have sex with another boy. The mop up thing in those days was being gay. We were both afraid and scared.

It was sad news once I tracked what had happened to marking. I was told that Mark died of tending. It broke my heart to get a line he was gone. Now I have mixed feelings about what occurred between us. Part of me so wishes that we could have been lovers. I have jacked off thousand of times to the thoughts of Mark and me having sex. Reliving our confrontation and having them make out out unlike. Yet on the early hand, I am a live today because of it. If I had made it with Mark, I would have had many lovers and fucked and been fucked by many of man just as AIDS was breaking. I firmly believe if I had become his lover, I too would have eventually contracted assist that wiped out my propagation of young gay men.

That said, I came to clear that Mark was my first love. We had a high shoal reunion and they had a rampart with pictures of those who had passed. When I came to the picture of Mark, I stopped and looked realizing that he was my foremost tangible love life. I miss him. I love him still .