Letter to a love. We all have had someone in our life sentence that we'e truly loved, some of us still have them in our living, others, like me, have lost them.
To my dearest sweetheart,

well, it 's been three old age since the final stage clip I saw you. Three years since I 've heard your laugh. Three years since I 've given you a hug. Three of the long and most measly class of my life.

There is n't a day that goes by that I do n't think about you, spill to you, even though you 're not physically there, I still talk to you and go for you can get wind me. Every time I close my optic, I see your smiling expression. There are sentence I 'll be out, and swear I hear your jape across the room.

I 've been camping one, maybe two clip since you left. It 's just not the Saami without you to pick on me around the blast. We have n't been out on the four wheeler either, I kinda miss my penny-pinching little passenger. I have n't been out fourwheeling either, that was supposed to be `` our day '' we had planned, that never happened.

The finale three class, I 've more or less kind of existed. for certain, I 've tried to run on, detect a new relationship, but, something always falls apart, or gets in the way. length, time, personallity conflict, all have been broker in why nothing works out. Try as I might, I ca n't get you out of my head, or my heart and soul. I 'm reminded of something your mom said, the day we buried you .... `` I hope he lives a long and goodly lifetime, and every clock time he closes his eyes, he sees you, to remind him of the inferno that he 's caused. '' trust me beauty, I do.

I 'm not sure whom she meant that phrase toward, but, I do know deep down, I 'm at least partially, if not wholy, responsible. Never once did I mean to spite, or neglect you, apparently, I failed miserably. I pay for my failure on a daily, foundation, and for hurting you, I 'm truly sorry.

I 'm disconsolate that I let you down in so very many ways. Not supporting, and caring enough. There were reasonableness behind it, some of which you knew, others, I 'm just learning myself. One of the biggest reasons was the fact that I truly did screw you completely, but, could n't show it to you in the right style, our circumstances prevented me showing you my dear. I know, it 's no excuse, I should have got found the way to do it properly, but, I was honestly scared. Scared that my situation would get tough, but, more than scared that you would actually turn away my love, which would squash what footling spirit I had. There was also a societal prospect dish, the dear I had, was n't socially acceptable, well, at least toward you the great unwashed would frown. I wanted nothing more than to pull you close, osculate you softly, and carry you as we walked through the mall or somewhere else. Knowing how company works, that could n't take place. I would have been seen as something horrible, nevermind the fact that there was a true deep love in my heart

I 'm learning More every day, seeing thing now, that I missed then. The little things, the grin at just me, even when you were crying. The way your optic seemed to light up. The times that you 'd need to drop time just the two of us. The random hugs, the occasional `` I love you '' when we were home alone. I realize now, you never said it in movement of anyone else, it was always something between you and I. I missed so many of the trivial signs you had given me that I would n't be rejected. But, sadly, it 's too late to change any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many thing differently.
I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to aby for the pain I caused. It 's my gist, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say `` I 'm disconsolate '' a billion times a day, and it would n't get to any departure. No amount of `` I 'm sorry '' can bring you back, or take away the pain that I 've caused. The solitary `` I 'm sorry '' that really matter, is the one deep inside of my affectionateness, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That spirit of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I 'm swear to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.

My lifespan will never be whole again. I will bear on to live, probably for a very prospicient time, but, I 'll never feel as truly glad as I did. Three farsighted class, is just the first steps into the life that I will lead. That life started June 17, 2011, the journeying will never end. There may be moments of bliss, and happiness scattered in there, but, forever will I commemorate what I caused. I truly am so very dingy my fresh sweeth Kaitlyn, I pray that one day, you can forgive me. I 'm not sure that you can, or will, and, if not, I do understand. If you do, or can, I 'm eternally grateful to you. Either way, I 'm glad, and proud to experience shared in your living for as long as I had, I just wish that I could give birth done better.
We ca n't modify our past, only hope that our past does n't destroy our time to come. When I told you that I loved you, you may have thought differently than I did, I love loved you, where you may accept seen it as a different eccentric of honey, I 'm distressing for never telling, or showing you how I loved you. Who knows, if I had, maybe you 'd still be physically here instead of only having to view as on to your memory board. I love you, and have loved you for a very long time, I just wish I had been smart enough to show you.


Lovingly,

Chris