In the CAW 24 thread, Pars001 asked :

'' also can it accept a sci fi mystery or alien romance theme ? after all I am strange ''

My response was :

'' How about treaty negotiations between the < inset name here > alien race and the humans. The final examination accord has to be consummated by sex between an alien and a human. For special points, tell it from both man and alien full stop of view.

BTW : This is not an wholly original idea. ``

I had to try this one.

—

The president stared at the webpage, its oversaturated blue colour hurt his middle, but it was the video which was just confusing and made his headache. How did they do that ? He looked at his briefing written document for reference, the diagram of the outlander female. If he squinted, you might err them for convention citizenry, in a dark alley, during a superpower outage. Everything was just in the untimely place, and he really did n't want to conceive of the part of that porta, just next to their reproductive orifice.

He turned to his foreman skill advisor. `` Are you totally sure this is how they do it ? ``

'' The linguistic scientist are overconfident mr President. They studied the consistence language in minute detail, it was said as if it were the most rule activity. They 'll be mightily offended if we do n't do it their way. ``

'' He really said, 'its consummated with a fuck on dwell TV, your president and our president'? ``

'' That 's exactly what he said mr President. ``

'' And we 've confirmed that that 's what he meant ? ``

'' We asked most politely for clarification, and that is what he meant. He seemed perturbed by the question. We do n't desire to undermine the negotiations, so we just moved politely onto the logistics of the act. ``

'' This is n't going to kill me or maybe spoiled, kill her ? ``

'' All the data shows we are extremely compatible. We evolved from he same canonic amino group Lucy in the sky with diamonds as they did, our foods are compatible. We would even classify them as mammalian if we did n't know they 're extraterrestrial being. They give birth to live young, and they suckle them, they even have rudimentary body hair. Our measurements indicate that our sex harmonium are of compatible sizing. ``

The president flinched at the cite of sex organs, it was his balls on the line here. Rather too literally for his liking.

'' So how is this going to go down ? ``

'' varlet five of the briefing theme has the outline of the event. You will enroll from polar position of the stage, you will be naked to start with. You will meet on the bed at center leg, and there you will perform the copulation. ``

'' How the hell am I supposed to fuck an extraterrestrial, her places are not in the ripe spot. ``

'' The briefing document page 20 through 30 cover charge proposition on how to go along. Our anthropologists have been studying their rituals and customs. There is a expectant measure of source cloth for that, their pornography manufacture is surprisingly get on. We can see several direction in which you might be able to twin with their United States President. We have suggestions for foreplay, the anthropologists are suggesting it is still wonted for their male to take the lead story in coition. However, do n't be surprised if she gives you focussing instead. I 'm sure you can handle it, sir. ``

The prexy was now questioning why he got into politics in the first space. He could have been a unsubdivided farmer just like his father. He carried on studying the briefing paper.

—

Down on the planet, President Rowena Cecil Frank Powell was having similar persuasion. She looked at the orange tinted cover charge of her most appreciate possession. `` Playboy and the guck God '' it proclaimed, even above the gens, `` beat '', of the magazine. Her uncle Isaac had bought it for her when she was ten, it was already an antique then. It had sparked a young girls interest group in science and it had put her on the path which after a couple of strange turns brought here here. To be fucked by an alien.

She wanted to know there was no misunderstanding, like the hapless Botax ( the alien supporter in the title taradiddle ) had had. She called that being the goo god.

'' We 're totally 100 % positive that this is their tradition, they 're not the slime god here ? ``

'' They told us about it in the sixth form. They were very definite about how this was to happen, madam president '' The alien language had multiple descriptor, each form was used in a dissimilar way to communicate shades of meaning. The sixth form was ultra polite, it also conveyed the message, 'if you do n't match, we 'll nuke you', so no mistaking their intent.

The linguistic communication forms the alien used also made it almost impossible to put a name to them, they themselves called themselves various thing including `` Baorn '', `` Oeblae '' and `` Rohazee ''. Baorn was sixth form, Rohazee was tierce, much less formal. If you used the wrong one in the wrong portion you could get a war, or unsound. Most of the time they were referred to `` our protagonist from space '', or just `` friends ''. There were a lot of less civilized words for them in mutual currency as well.

'' So how does their anatomy oeuvre again ? ``

'' They 're in modulation from quadrupedal to bipedal, not unlike a gorilla. The pass analogue is not fully articulated, more of a hump. There are several center and a mouth. The mouth is only used for feeding, not for respiration. breathing and speech uses the posterior opening. ``

'' You mean they talk through their but ? ``

'' Exactly. ``

'' They must be good politico. ``

The science advisor suppressed a chuckle, but continued. `` The mouth also doubles as the sex organs though. The glossa is also a penis. ``

'' The male nookie by going down on the female ? Sounds honorable to me. '' Said the president with a giggle.

'' Actually madam president, the female person 's sexual organs are also in her mouth. intercourse is more like french kissing. There is some reference to oral sex, that might be more what you were referring to madam president. Though given the difference in the positions of their oral cavity and the human being vagina, it might seem different. ``

'' Like he 's kissing her butt ? ``

'' Precisely ma'am prexy. ``

—

Rowena walked hesitantly onto the degree, she felt naked. She was naked, but it felt worse than that. Across the level was the alien president, he did look like a headless hunchback gorilla from this angle. Getting closer she could see that he was hairless, his skin was dark and looked more like a grained leather crownwork. That was more or less as expected, their sun flooded their satellite with a lot Sir Thomas More UV brightness than earth, a tougher skin was essential for survival.

Even closer she could see the eye around the centripetal hump. On their planet, they were much more heavily shielded against sunlight, with multiple eyelids. To the noncitizen, even a well lit TV studio was dark, so all the eye were fully open, several of them were staring at her.

Finally they were within touching distance, the foreigner spoke, to Rowena, it sounded like a farting. The translation was relayed to her ear bug, `` I 'm very please to run across you madam president. ``

Rowena started her train speech, `` I 'm pleased, … '' but did n't get to finish. The alien reached around and hugged her, and kissed her. The hug felt like the alien was wearing an exquisitely voiced leather crown, leather was n't Rowena 's fetish, but at this rate she thought she might exchange her idea. The hug was very carnal. She reached around and hugged back, she could feel the lightness application of tomentum she expected to find.

The kiss was also quite a bend on, the alien 's tongue slipped into her backtalk. Of course, it was also his phallus and it was rear, she tried to french him, but she found herself giving him a blowjob. Meanwhile the alien 's early glossa, there were three diminished clapper arrayed around the principal tongue, they also joined in. It was really erotic for Rowena.

The alien reached for her breasts, she found herself getting the most sensual massage. It felt like hands clad in the sonant calfskin baseball glove. The extraterrestrial maneuvered her to sit on the bed, then moved his mouth down to her breast. The prehensile tongue/penis again performed a most animal massage of her breasts. She lay back on the bed and moaned softly.

Rowena was barely able of rational opinion at that moment, but one thought she had was that these stranger had a next tending to earth women like this. She 'd be tempted to sign up for this again. The alien kissed down her stomach, arriving at her kitty-cat. The foreigner 's glossa probed, he was good at this, a natural Rowena though. She sighed and moaned some more, louder this time.

She felt the foreigner 's tongue/penis pushing at her incoming. Simultaneously, the three smaller clapper licked at her button and purulent lips. The consequence was too much for Rowena, she came, her moans became riot and she trashed around on the bed. The alien raised his buttocks high, and trumpeted a victorious bellow, it still sounding like a very loud fart. Then he came inside her.

—

At the very recently and rapidly constituted bureau of unknown personal matters, Mark James Dewey Watson was a computational linguistic scientist. He was component part of the squad which had built the translator the negotiations had relied on. He was troubled.

As he was discussing his concerns with is foreman, the TV was playing the coupling of the chairwoman in the background. It was being broadcast around the globe. `` So you know about the several forms of our friends'language. ``

'' Uh huh. ``

'' I was looking over the translation map, I noticed the third and fifth forms cluster very closely in the turnout blank space. That would mean watchword in the 3rd and fifth part phase can be easily confused. This is a phenomena our friends have noticed themselves. They call them 'third form jokes'. Something like our puns, but More subtle. The third form tends to verbalize cruder concepts, so if you change a fifth mannikin word to a third form watchword in a conviction you can end up with a dirty prank pun. ``

'' That could make life difficult, can we alter the topology of the map to increase the interval of the anatomy ? ``

'' That was what I was thinking we want to do, but I was examining the output and I think we 've been translating 'handshake'as 'fuck'by mistake. '' They both looked over to the action on the screen .