When I used to move around on business I would occasionally mail an ad in the Craigs List Men-for-Women section. It was mostly a way to vote down time while was alone in a hotel elbow room. I 'd indite something fun, like `` infant Oil, vino & Hot Tub - What Could Be Better ? '' The body of the mail service would be well written, in staring sentences, with proper punctuation mark. If you ever looked at CL itemization, these introductory qualities made the ad bandstand out from the formula `` HMU 2 F $ # @ '' type fare.

As an sr. white guy ( just over 50 when I posted this particular ad ), it 's not like my in-box got flooded. The reaction were mostly from Russian scammers, lady of pleasure, and drug addicts. Depending on how world-weary I was, I 'd grow the mesa on the scammers, be courteous to the hookers, and point the freak toward topical anaesthetic treatment centers.

Occasionally, I 'd get a hit from a real, genuine human being. about emails were guys offering snow jobs. Once in a blueness synodic month, a adult female would respond.

One day, I received a confidently written reception that did n't suffer the English-as-second-language hint that revealed a foreign scammer. The bank note simply answered my interrogation about `` what could be better. '' The fair sex whom I would come to know as Madison wrote, `` drinking chocolate would be meliorate. '' Opinionated I thought. I like unassailable women. In addition to the matter line declarative, she wrote only these words, `` Are you single ? ''

Opinionated, laconic and moral.

My response did n't lie, but I agreed with her assessment, then offered dark cocoa along with a body rub. She responded, `` Well, I am adamant, so I do n't remember you can change my mind, although you may be capable to seduce my mind. Strong, masculine manpower on my soft, pretty body is so beguiling and intoxicating. I could use a body rub ... I have been working really hard on my thesis and am quite fatigued. I wish I could get. : ( I am just very dangerous about respecting former woman and their relationships, even if I do n't know them. ``

The extra particular in her government note revealed a deepening curiosity. Expecting nothing more than e-mails - which I knew would end if I offended her or she simply lost interest group - I pressed on just for fun. Plus, because I live my workplace life-time at a keyboard creating stories for a aliveness, it was a receive distraction from my habitue liveliness, and offered hope for the unremitting maw I felt in my heart about longing to be with a cleaning woman who wanted to be with me ( the reason I did n't just hire a call girl ).

Soon we exchanged photos. I knew she was in college ( the thesis tipped me off ), so when she saw the substantial 50-something me, I figured it 'd be over. It wasn't.

She wrote, `` I really feel obliged to say that if you are really trying to get me to encounter then you will not come through. I just do n't need you to liquidate your time. I really do consider it is wrong to be with someone who is married or in a relationship, and I am very conscientious about that.

'' But I do really like your photograph though. You look smart and bountiful in the in force way possible. You are definitely a serious bit older than me but very much my type physically speaking with your hair and skin. You 're adorable. I love it. : ) Very aphrodisiacal. And seeing your warm hands makes me want you to commit me a thigh massage.

'' As for me, I am 22. I am writing my undergraduate, senior dissertation on The pestilence by Prince Albert Albert Camus. I am single. I love languages, especially Latin and antediluvian Greek. I spent a month in Italy last summertime ; I love to travel. I enjoy baking kale. I love the symphony and the opera. And I love to eat. : )

'' What do you believe of my photo ? ``

Oh my. What did I think ? I was looking at a college girlfriend who was flirting with me ! My feelings raced from disbelief to being flattered, excited, enchanted and seriously aroused.

Madison exuded the girl-next-door facial expression with medium Robert Brown hairsbreadth that hung past her shoulder. Even though the exposure was not at all revealing, she had beautiful womanly curves. Imagine a definitive Rubenesque model minus 20 Irish pound and you 're picturing President Madison. Her sparkling eyes and welcoming smile were simply, well, just pretty. Melt-me cute. And pure.

Of course of study, she was not completely pure. Like me, like everyone who pursues what they need but ca n't find through rule TV channel, James Madison was n't totally innocent. Like me, she had started down a shadowy way of her own. Fortunately, somehow we 'd met.

My business program put me in the Southern city near her college in the dead of winter. Our e-mails took on an importunity because the chance to meet was ours to overlook. I suggested coffee. Her answer revealed a longing. `` Of course, I am singular about what it would be like to be with you. I ca n't say that I was n't fantasizing a little in my morning division about your hands on my second joint. Honestly, I wish I could go with you to dinner tonight, but I do n't experience a way to get there. It has been about a year since I have been with a man who knew something about bod up and prolonged Passion of Christ. It is something I love and something that takes me to ecstasy, and something about which many men know practically nothing. I would roll in the hay a buildup of intensity tonight.

'' If I went even to dinner with you, I think that I would want you to make at least a lilliputian passion to me, but since I wo n't let that take place since you are attached, it would just be torment for me. I ca n't block off wishing you were bingle ! But I just ca n't go against my conscience. I want kisses on my cervix and ear. I dislike this inner struggle. : ( ``

Driven by the deep motivation to satisfy my heart, I rationalized the situation in a note back to her, `` To put thing into perspective, you 'll likely do worse matter in your living than see me. At least if you see me, there 's a fantastic upside. Some things are worth it. The reality of how I could clear you feel : Worth it. The computer storage of what we 've shared. Worth it. The risky venture. Worth it. ``

I did not tell her that for me, the tryst would renew my intensity to stay in my outwardly perfect marriage that was otherwise killing me ... slowly sucking the passion and vim from my individual due to my wife 's aroused and physical disinterest. Being with capital of Wisconsin took on extra urging as I realized she could be so deeply important to me at a level she could n't possibly understand.

James Madison resisted and resisted until she did n't. Dozens of email tracked the moral conflict. Either of us could take in walked away. Neither did.

We 'd agreed to meet at a vino bar for dinner party. I got there a bit betimes and ordered a Riesling. Then a second. I 'd positioned myself in the very back of the restaurant, faced so I could see the door. capital of Wisconsin arrived. She was prettier than her photos, and I had n't realized how tall she was, at least 5'8 ''. She did n't see me, so I stood up and walked to greet her. We paused for a present moment, eye to eye, my hands in front of me to gently welcome her by taking her 's and leading her to our table. It was going to be a nice evening.

Still to this moment I ca n't remember the attire she was wearing, except that had a modestly late neckline with a lace up feature. I did my best to hold on my eyes on hers, but her plenteous boob made for the most beautiful cleavage.

We talked for a while, noshed on some great intellectual nourishment, drank a little ( more ) wine-coloured, and then Madison announced she needed to go. It was n't late, but I knew she was working on her thesis, and I did n't want to impinge on her studies.

beingness that it was truly freezing out ( below 32° ), I asked if she 'd judgment driving me back to my hotel. She agreed. As we walked to her car, she sheepishly admitted she 'd blank out where she parked. Then she realized she did n't own cash to pay the parking fee. I found this so charming and innocent.

Perhaps as a lifespan metaphor regarding pauperization, as we were walking, she shivered. I put my arm around her and turned up the neckband on her wool coat. She 'd never known you could do that ! I guess when Sakartvelo is your family, what comes naturally to those who grew up in the frozen Mid-West would n't be second nature. Then she slipped on some ice. I instinctively caught her. That moment it was Madison who melted a small. I kept her warm and safe that walk.

The dinner and paseo surprisingly revealed, that despite our age difference, we clicked. Our personalities and deep-seated needs meshed in a way I still do n't realise. This lady friend with whom I was walking was so Lester Willis Young, pretty, smart and vivacious that I did n't want her to go. I told her I 'd wish some desert. She coyly asked, `` What are you hungry for ? '' Chocolate was the only earmark verbal solution, although my eyes said otherwise. I casually noted, as if by coincidence, that I had sorry cocoa in my room. As we pulled into my hotel, she was the one to propose that she 'd care to come up.

You could give knocked me over with a feather. Never in a million years.

As for what happened succeeding, capital of Wisconsin 's journal entry puts it in her words. She sent the parole below in an email. This is what she wrote in her journal. The action picks up after she gets into her admirer 's borrowed car and drives away from the university :

'' lamb Journal, I decided to go and conform to him. The tenseness within myself was too great for me to tolerate, so I had to go. I think our e-mail exchanges made get together that much more exciting. I did not put much precaution into my underthings when getting ready as I had no idea of what was to arrive. But I put on my royal blue silk clothes. It is one of my deary dress. It is a soft, very well 100 % silk dress and it makes men want to put their limb around me. It is delightfully and teasingly low cut although it shows but a glimpse of cleavage. It is a very swish wearing apparel. It ties above the breasts ; I like to fancy that when men see it they just want to untie it and start kissing me. I curled my hair and put on scant constitution as well as my rose oil perfume. In my very humble but very precise opinion, I looked lovely.

'' I drove to the city, and I felt a little skittish as I walked to establishment. It turned out to be the sodding station for our rendezvous. I like to ideate how we looked that eve, all dressed up and wide-cut of desire. I walked in, and I did not see anyone. I thought he would be sitting next to the threshold watching for me. I felt a minuscule stab of dismay as I looked about and did not see him. But after a few seconds, he stood up and I caught plenty of him. He was sitting in the back ; I walked to him, and the moment I saw him I knew it was going to be a lovely, romantic eventide. the great unwashed most often look more attractive in characterisation than in material life. But it was the opposite with him. He was so handsome. He was definitely quite a bit sometime than I was, but the age difference did not feel too pronounced. I felt that we were on the same wavelength. I wonder what were his thoughts when he first saw me. He wears drinking glass. I love drinking glass on a man. He was wearing a sweater that looked to be very soft and a silk tie. He has very honorable taste and seemed Brigham Young at marrow. When I approached him, he welcomed me with an embracing and kissed me on the cheek. My heart began to vacillate and to mellow a little. It was so romantic and made me finger so womanly. I wish I could have played that panorama again and again. I loved him kissing me on the nerve upon meeting me. He is such a romantic, gentlemanly man. He helped me out of my coat and pulled out my chair for me to sit down. He is absolutely my type physically and intellectually. I loved his vocalisation and his style of dress. I loved his taste in food.

'' He sat down, and we conversed a small before the waitress came over. I ordered a Pinor Noir ; he already had his vino. I was surprised that he preferred white wine. With his romanticistic, sultry personality, I would have thought that he would choose a wickedness, sultry red. One thing that I found irresistibly attractive about him was his vocabulary. nearly men ( indeed virtually modernistic masses ) have a very bound vocabulary, because citizenry do n't read very much and stead scout tacky tv. I have a fairly grand lexicon because I study Latin and Grecian and because I read a lot. But I love that he used words like `` flagrant '' and `` bucolic. '' I thought it was very sexy.

'' We had a most pleasant conversation. We talked about traveling. I talked about my school day and work, and he told me about his work. The tension between us was palpable. I loved it. I caught him looking at my tit twice, and it made my heart beat a little faster. But he did not count at them in a crass way but rather in an look up to way. I wondered what he was thinking when he looked. Was he wondering how soft but firm they would finger under his touch ? Was he wanting to kiss them softly ? Was he wondering what my nipple looked like ?

'' The ambiance of the eatery was pure. I have only been capable to drink legally for a picayune over a twelvemonth, so I still feel the novelty of meeting person for a glass of wine-colored. It was pleasantly dim inside and the music was perfect. Norah Jones and Frank Frank Sinatra were playing as well as other such creative person. I just love the latent hostility between man and woman. I knew that both of us were full of desire but I love the tension before the desire is played out. I knew that he was pursuing me, and I loved it. I loved how romantic he was. He had a fantastic smile too ; it was very contagious. Oh and his hands. His hand were incredibly sexy. I do n't make out why, but I could not contain looking at them. They were so aphrodisiacal. They looked so strong. I kept trying to keep myself from imagining them massaging my knocker and kneading my thighs. Them sliding up my intimate second joint and spreading my legs apart. Imagining his digit sliding into the dark wetness of my flower ... His script were intoxicating. It did n't help when he got up to use the wash room and as he walked behind me he put his aright script on my pep pill flop arm. My heart fluttered, and I reveled in the mellifluous feeling of desire and arousal that was blossoming inside me. I knew he was trying me to see what would happen, and I soaked up every second of it. I kept thinking about that simple-minded touch. When he came back, he pulled his chair closer to mine, and I felt the effect of that between my leg. Our faces got quite close at times. I ca n't say that I did n't ideate his lips on the brim of my prime and his mouth enclosing my nipples inside it.

'' He said, `` How does it feel to have someone sitting so close to you who wants to make love to you ? '' I said something to the effect that it happens not infrequently. He said he was not surprised. He stopped a little a one point and said something quietly. I asked him to repeat himself, and he said, `` You 're just so pretty. '' I felt a piffling bashful at such subject admiration, but I also felt so attractive under his gaze. Another time, after I caught him casting a backstair glance at my tit, he said it again. `` You 're just so pretty. '' I loved that completely dinner. It felt so sensual and amatory. He kept looking at me with such depth in his eyes. He would gaze at me for quite a foresightful time, and I would feel a little shy.

'' But my idea were not just intimate to be certainly. I loved the romance of it. I loved how intelligent and well-traveled he was. And he paid for the meal which is very attractive. I had the urge to put my hand on the table and let him prevail it and stroke it, but I resisted the urge. He definitely was very attractive to me intellectually. He seemed to take knowledge in a wide variety of areas. I just felt drawn to him like a magnet. I tried not to picture it of course of instruction. I wanted him to engage, not me. He looked at me in a very attracted and admiring fashion. I am sure that I blushed a fiddling at least. Oh his hired man. I kept thinking about him slipping his arm around my waist. And about his hands going dangerously low.

'' When we stood up, he helped me into my coat and after it was on, he put his script on my shank and again I felt a warm, familiar spirit curling sensation between my legs. We walked out ; I even love even the way he walks with so practically confidence. We got out and it was so cold. But I love it being insensate because it is so amatory. it makes one want to snuggle up. And it gave me a complete excuse for me to put my arm in his. I was delighted to be so snug to him. He was certainly laughing at me a minuscule because I could n't remember where I parked, and I had never heard of putting your dog collar up to keep your neck opening warm. But I did n't mind it because I knew that he knew I was level-headed. I loved it when he stopped to put my collar up because his sexy paw were on me a little.

'' I very much enjoyed the frigid walk back. We walked to the little outflow waterfall. I took his hand and stepped over to the stride nearer the jet. His helping hand are very strong. I imagine them pinning my arms over my head and kissing me. Holding me down and making me succumb to pleasure. I wanted a kiss near the fountain but it was much too soon. I loved snuggling up to him on the walkway. His arm around me or holding my hand.

'' And then he said he had deep brown in the room, and I made the fateful suggestion of going to eat chocolate in the room. I drove to the hotel, and he was very gentlemanly, opening all the doors. It made me feel very womanly. We got in the room and I flopped onto the bed. Later I discovered that such a careless movement made him require to piss love to me. ``

An aside here : The Old one gets, if they bother to observe how Loretta Young the great unwashed move, they 're much more bouncy than adults. reckon a grouping of school girl talking excitedly in a shoal hallway, and you 'll get the estimate. So Maddison walks into the room and on her way toward the window, she bounces on the bed. It was so precious and inadvertently sexy that I muttered to myself, `` I 'm a dead man. I ca n't believe this is happening. ''

Madison 's journal entry continued, `` Under the guise of going to look at the Charlotte view, I walked over to the window, and he came up behind me. Just his niggardliness made my heart beat very fast. He stood behind me and ran his fingertips on my upper berth arms. My amphetamine arms are a very erogenous part of my trunk, perhaps because they are so close to my white meat. I loved it. I was becoming so aroused. He started massaging my back. His unassailable paw massaging my spine made my genu weak, and so I went over to the bed.

'' What happened next is a delicious fuzz in my brain, but many matter stand out distinctly in my mind. He leaned a fiddling on the dominant side which I loved. He was certainly romancing me, making love to me. His helping hand were intoxicating. I loved him kissing my neck and my arm. I ca n't think back what gild affair happened in, but I will recall all that I can. My will was wavering very much. When I first sat down, he started rubbing my second joint. I loved it. Watching his paw rub my second joint was heady indeed. He was arousing me so much. He took off his jumper at one distributor point and started unbuttoning his shirt, but I took over and finished unbuttoning it. I liked his chest. I liked running my hand over it and sliding my hired hand on his lower tum and a picayune under his pants. Finally, he took off his pants. And there was his cock in all its severity. So sexual. I took it in my hands. I touched it and played with his globe. I really liked his glob ; it was very enjoyable to me to afford him such pleasure.

'' One of my favorite parts was when he started kissing my bosom. My apparel and bra were still on. But I loved it when he untied the tie on my dress. And opened me up. Exposing my cleaving to his muckle and touch. I am middling sure that I cried out loudly when his mouth and mitt came in contact with my breasts. I pushed him away, but he kept on kissing and touching. Finally, I took off my bra and unzipped my apparel. He pulled my clothes over and exposed my white meat. I felt myself going wild knowing that he was gazing upon it. He kissed it, and he made me drunkard. The feel of his natural language on my knocker, his fingertips. I loved watching it all ; I can never cause enough of it. I am a very visual soul. I love watching everything he does to me. The deal is inebriating. I took off my garb, and I love what he did. He stopped what he was doing for a second, and he looked me in the eye and said, `` You are beautiful. '' And then he returned to my breast. It felt like he could n't keep his work force off my teat. He was driving me to ecstasy. He would wet his digit on his tongue and play with my chest in a manner that would drive me barbarian. He would pull my mamilla. And I loved that he was rough with them. I love it that he was not restraining himself. I remember very vividly once when he was licking my right wing breast. I could see his natural language running around my nipple and licking my mamilla. It was so sexy. I wanted that natural language on my flower.

'' I wanted him to pin me down so I wove his finger in mine and made him pin my limb above my head. My flower was soaking. He sat on me and played with my nipples. I loved it. And I loved seeing his cock so close to my face. I think I sucked on his fingerbreadth a lilliputian, then he slide his prick in my waiting backtalk, and I loved it. This is all a blur because it was so enjoyable. I wanted him to f @ # $ my mouth. It was amazing. I loved him being above me and putting his pecker in my mouth.

'' I loved touching him to construct him cum. It was so sexual ! I loved seeing his font while I was pleasuring him. The elevation of pleasure was when he first touched me. I made him waitress quite awhile and build up to it. He kept touching my thigh, my inner thigh, and my ass and getting so close to my prime. I kept moving his manus and pushing him away. I love resisting a man 's progression and making him try for it and overcome me. It is so arousing to me. I think I was getting very vocal. ``

Another aside here : President Madison moaned so loudly that I was afraid a guest in an adjacent room would holler surety. I whispered in her ear to quiet down, and was surprised at the beautiful agony she expended keeping her moan suppressed. Her cacoethes was so obvious and earnest. Pure raptus in military action. Nothing faked or put on.

The journal then chronicled, `` He kept getting so close to touching me and I kept moving his hand. Finally he pulled me on top of him. My legs were spread apart on either face of him. He put his hands on my ass and pulled my ass broad apart. I was squirming I 'm for certain. He got really airless and then finally plunged a finger's breadth into my blossom. I felt like screaming. So a good deal pleasure ! And I ca n't even begin to say how much I loved him touching my ass. Some men do n't relish that, and I am so glad that he does. He ran his finger around my ass almost like he was rimming me but with his digit instead of his glossa. Then he laid me down with my back on the bed and started playing more with my flower. He groaned and said how expert I felt. I felt his digit wandering around my mouth. I wish he could deliver looked at my flower in the lamp brightness level. It is so sexy. I wonder if he liked my sassing, although I am not for sure if he got much of a good look at them. My plump, juicy flower backtalk are my favorite erotic feature on myself. I wish I had not been on my time period. I wanted him to nurse on my back talk so badly. Finally he sat up and touch on me to beau ideal. He put a finger ( or maybe two ? I 'm not sure enough. ) in my flower and he put a finger in my ass, deep in my ass. He pushed me to the border of cristal. My favorite thing of all is being fingered in the ass and prime at the Lapp time. I love it. I did n't want it to end, although he was being a picayune too raspy since I had n't been touched for several months. One of the most pleasurable minute was when I slowly pulled his finger out of my ass. That felt incredible. Feeling it slowly slide out of my ass. I wish I had been on my custody and knees for him to thumb my ass. But it felt amazing as it was. I think I came, although the sexual climax was n't very vivid. I wish I had not started my period, so I could have relaxed and enjoyed it completely.

'' I just loved the way he was sexually. A minuscule dominant allele. The perfect tense amount. Admiring and amorous and not crass at all. Sexy and so intimate. Oh and I wished I could have brought him to orgasm orally. I deep throated him a little and loved it. I wonder if he liked it much. He was n't very vocal, so I could n't order which affair he especially liked. I wanted to lick his balls, but I did n't. Perhaps I should have.

'' We held and cuddled afterwards. I loved it. And I loved that he kissed so many parts of my body : my stomach, weaponry, neck. I wanted him to kiss, lap, and blow on my compensate ear more. The whole Nox was delectable. The way he looked at me made me finger so feminine. If I had known this was going to materialise I would suffer worn pretty underwear and shaved my legs and trimmed my hair. I hope he liked my flower. I felt drunk from pleasure.

'' But I want so much more. I want to deep throat him more. I want him to taste me. I want the physique up to direct even longer. I want him to guard me to a greater extent. If I see him again, it is not going to be any easier for him. I want to stand firm just as practically and defecate him try for me. He has to overcome me to get to my tit and prime. I just love the interplay of the masculine and the feminine, and he is so good at evoking the feeling of contrast between man and woman. That is what love story is. I want his strong hands to lie me down on the bed and slowly spread my stage apart and then tease me. Run his fingertips around the lineation of my underwear. Breathe warm up breath on my flower through my underwear. Pull my underwear to the side and regard upon my heyday. trace around my flower with his fingertip but lead so long to equal it to motor me wild from desire. I want prolonged teasing.

'' The first prison term he saw my bosom, I felt so feminine. I want to know what he was thinking at each part. I want to do it what he thought when his prick was in my throat. He told me what he thought of my knocker : that Grecians must receive used a model like me in sculpting their statues. He is so romantic and so masculine. I love it. I want to know if he really saw my ass. It is so sexy and fully and round. I want to know how practically he wanted to kiss me at dinner. I want to live what he thought when he first laid eye on me. I want to know what he thought when he caught a glimpse of my segmentation. I want to get it on what he thought of my easygoing cutis. I want to roll in the hay all his idea about everything in the evening. I want to know every dimension of his desire for me. I want him to see the fullness of my ass and hips, to admire me more in all my alluring femininity.

'' There is so much more. I feel like I am just scratching the surface. I ca n't help but wonder if he has many experiences like this in his business travels. Maybe I am but one of many lovers he encounters often in his travels. Ah well. One can never acknowledge. He is handsome, posh, and romantic, so I would not be surprised if many women fell for him and want him.

'' Oh well. I want him, and had him, tonight. ``

And capital of Wisconsin did have me that night ... and in my memory, many more Nox after that.

While it might seem strange, we never had carnal knowledge. She was saving herself for her married man, whomever that lucky man would plough out to be. And honestly, I did n't miss it for a moment. It was the most dear and erotic meeting I 've ever had. It just proves that it 's not what you do, but whom you do it with, that matters most.

President Madison and I would see each other two more times before she graduated and began traveling abroad. The pursuit times were more intense and physical, involving lots of oral sex, deep throating, 69ing, and anal retentive experimentation. After one particularly exhausting round of orgasm, she snuggled against me and fell asleep with her foreland on my pectus. While I was n't catching her from a teddy on the ice, I was providing a soft and safe landing for this curious and sexy Danton True Young woman.

During the finish two meeting, she liked me being the polite aggressor, and there would be no question as to whether she orgasmed. I always knew when I 'd succeeded because she 'd literally experience quakes through her intone space that would quiver and spasm for transactions afterwards. I 'd utilize the one-in-ass-two-in-the-pussy technique multiple times, and often while sucking her ample labia. And that ass ; oh my gosh. A perfect puckered pink penny-sized asshole that begged to be rimmed, licked and penetrated. Every constituent of President Madison was just so damn fetching.

A part of me fell in erotic love with this young womanhood, but my dedication to my family prevented me from acting on any of the fantasies I created, including paying for Madison 's post-graduate work in my family city so I could see her Thomas More often.

As it became earn that we would not likely see each former again, our electronic mail became more infrequent. Every so often I 'd get a missive like, `` I want your tongue so badly. Your clapper is unbelievable. Magical. I want you to stimulate my second joint tremble. I want to be really f # @ % ed in the ass too. Make me thigh-slapper ! '' My all-time favorite was, `` You have no mind how wild I am feeling ! I want you to enthral my soundbox right now ! I would lick your ass for an hr right now if we were together. I think the more dominant you are, the more run I would be to desire to lick ass ... book me down, put your stopcock down my throat, maybe even tie me up a bit. I want you dreadfully ! ``

Madison ended up settling permanently in Eastern EC. She teaches there now. As often as I fantasized about seeing her again and trying to think a future with her, there was none that I could make a reality. We both needed to move on. We had no future tense that I could make genuine. I let go.

It 's been a few years since I received an electronic mail from Madison. Perhaps thinking about her own need for redemption, that last e-mail was sent on easterly.

The distinction included one of the kind things anyone has ever written to me. She knew that I struggled with why she was attracted to me. I kept asking myself, `` Why me ? '' My opinion were that perhaps I was some sort of loving parental public figure ? Rather forcefully, she corrected me, `` I was not attracted to because you were older. I was attracted to you, and you happened to be older. That 's all. ``

As I read that, the hole in my heart shrank a piddling, and my need to run to the shadower lessened for a meter.

Sometime my brain admiration if we 'll ever cross track again. Will the desires that first drove us into the fantasm ever bring us back together, even years from now ? To this day, whenever I make a connection through the Atlanta airport - capital of Wisconsin 's rest home townsfolk - I catch myself thinking of her.

Author 's note : I welcome notes from women about this story, either publicly or via the note selection. Chicago440 on the three-lettered chat system that begins and ends with the `` k '' sound and has an eye in the middle .