When I used to travel on business I would occasionally post an ad in the Craigs List Men-for-Women incision. It was mostly a way to kill time while was alone in a hotel room. I 'd write something fun, like `` Baby Oil, Wine & Hot Tub - What Could Be punter ? '' The body of the C. W. Post would be well written, in complete sentences, with proper punctuation. If you ever looked at CL itemization, these introductory qualities made the ad standstill out from the normal `` HMU 2 F $ # @ '' character fare.

As an older white guy ( just over 50 when I posted this particular proposition ad ), it 's not like my in-box got flooded. The responses were mostly from Russian scammers, cyprian, and drug addicts. Depending on how bored I was, I 'd turn the tables on the chiseller, be nice to the hookers, and channelize the freak toward local anesthetic handling centers.

Occasionally, I 'd get a hit from a real, echt human being. Most emails were rib offering blow job. Once in a Amytal lunation, a woman would respond.

One day, I received a confidently written response that did n't have the English-as-second-language clue that revealed a extraneous defrauder. The Federal Reserve note simply answered my enquiry about `` what could be skilful. '' The char whom I would come to have intercourse as Madison wrote, `` cocoa would be better. '' Opinionated I thought. I like firm fair sex. In add-on to the depicted object rail line declarative, she wrote only these words, `` Are you single ? ''

Opinionated, laconic and moral.

My response did n't lie, but I agreed with her assessment, then offered dark cocoa along with a organic structure rub. She responded, `` Well, I am inexorable, so I do n't call back you can change my mind, although you may be capable to seduce my intellect. Strong, masculine workforce on my soft, pretty body is so lure and intoxicating. I could use a body rub ... I have been working really hard on my thesis and am quite fatigued. I wish I could come. : ( I am just very life-threatening about respecting other fair sex and their relationships, even if I do n't know them. ``

The extra detail in her note revealed a deepening peculiarity. Expecting goose egg more than e-mails - which I knew would end if I offended her or she simply lost interest - I pressed on just for fun. Plus, because I live my workplace life at a keyboard creating write up for a support, it was a welcome distraction from my regular life history, and offered Bob Hope for the eonian golf hole I felt in my heart about longing to be with a woman who wanted to be with me ( the reason I did n't just hire a call young woman ).

Soon we exchanged photos. I knew she was in college ( the thesis tipped me off ), so when she saw the real 50-something me, I figured it 'd be over. It wasn't.

She wrote, `` I really feel compel to say that if you are really trying to get me to meet then you will not come through. I just do n't desire you to ravage your meter. I really do conceive it is wrong to be with soul who is married or in a family relationship, and I am very conscientious about that.

'' But I do really like your photograph though. You look bright and bighearted in the Best way possible. You are definitely a good bit older than me but very much my type physically speaking with your pilus and peel. You 're adorable. I love it. : ) Very sexy. And seeing your inviolable custody makes me want you to feed me a thigh massage.

'' As for me, I am 22. I am writing my undergrad, fourth-year dissertation on The pest by Albert Camus. I am single. I love languages, especially Latin and antediluvian Hellene. I spent a calendar month in Italian Republic finish summer ; I love to travel. I enjoy baking bread. I love the symphonic music and the opera. And I love to eat. : )

'' What do you think of my photo ? ``

Oh my. What did I call back ? I was looking at a college little girl who was flirting with me ! My feelings raced from unbelief to being flattered, excited, enchanted and seriously aroused.

President Madison exuded the girl-next-door look with medium John Brown hair that hung past her shoulders. Even though the pic was not at all revealing, she had beautiful womanly curves. Imagine a classic Rubenesque model minus 20 pounds and you 're picturing Madison. Her effervescent eye and welcoming smile were simply, well, just pretty. Melt-me cute. And pure.

Of line, she was not completely pure. Like me, like everyone who pursues what they need but ca n't line up through normal channels, capital of Wisconsin was n't totally devoid. Like me, she had started down a dim itinerary of her own. Fortunately, somehow we 'd met.

My occupation plans put me in the Southern metropolis near her college in the dead of wintertime. Our e-mails took on an urgency because the chance to fulfill was ours to leave out. I suggested coffee. Her reply revealed a yearning. `` Of path, I am rum about what it would be like to be with you. I ca n't say that I was n't fantasizing a little in my morning class about your work force on my thighs. Honestly, I wish I could go with you to dinner tonight, but I do n't have a way to get there. It has been about a class since I have been with a man who knew something about build up and keep up passion. It is something I love and something that takes me to ecstasy, and something about which many men know practically zilch. I would eff a buildup of intensity tonight.

'' If I went even to dinner with you, I think that I would want you to piss at least a little passion to me, but since I wo n't let that materialise since you are attached, it would just be straining for me. I ca n't stop wishing you were single ! But I just ca n't go against my conscience. I want osculation on my neck and ear. I dislike this inside battle. : ( ``

Driven by the deepest need to satisfy my centre, I rationalized the situation in a banknote back to her, `` To put things into perspective, you 'll likely do tough things in your life than see me. At least if you see me, there 's a wonderful top. Some thing are worth it. The reality of how I could make you finger : Worth it. The retention of what we 've shared. Worth it. The adventure. Worth it. ``

I did not secernate her that for me, the rendezvous would reincarnate my strength to stay in my outwardly utter married couple that was otherwise killing me ... slowly sucking the passion and energy from my soulfulness due to my wife 's emotional and strong-arm disinterest. Being with James Madison took on extra urgency as I realized she could be so deeply important to me at a level she could n't possibly understand.

Madison resisted and resisted until she did n't. lashings of e-mails tracked the moral conflict. Either of us could give birth walked away. Neither did.

We 'd agreed to meet at a wine bar for dinner. I got there a bit early and ordered a Riesling. Then a second. I 'd positioned myself in the very back of the eating place, faced so I could see the threshold. President Madison arrived. She was prettier than her exposure, and I had n't realized how tall she was, at to the lowest degree 5'8 ''. She did n't see me, so I stood up and walked to greet her. We paused for a here and now, eye to eye, my custody in front of me to gently welcome her by taking her 's and leading her to our tabular array. It was going to be a nice evening.

Still to this consequence I ca n't recall the dress she was wearing, except that had a modestly cryptical neckline with a lace up characteristic. I did my best to keep my eyes on hers, but her ample breasts made for the most beautiful cleavage.

We talked for a piece, noshed on some cracking food, drank a piffling ( more ) wine, and then Madison announced she needed to go. It was n't tardy, but I knew she was working on her dissertation, and I did n't want to impinge on her studies.

Being that it was truly freezing out ( below 32° ), I asked if she 'd judgment driving me back to my hotel. She agreed. As we walked to her car, she sheepishly admitted she 'd forgotten where she parked. Then she realized she did n't have cash to pay the parking fee. I found this so fascinate and innocent.

Perhaps as a life metaphor regarding penury, as we were walking, she shivered. I put my arm around her and turned up the pinch on her wool coat. She 'd never known you could do that ! I guess when Peach State is your home, what comes naturally to those who grew up in the frozen Mid-West would n't be second nature. Then she slipped on some ice. I instinctively caught her. That moment it was President Madison who melted a piffling. I kept her warm and safe that walk.

The dinner party and walk surprisingly revealed, that despite our age deviation, we clicked. Our personalities and deep-seated needs meshed in a way I still do n't see. This girl with whom I was walking was so vernal, pretty, smart and vivacious that I did n't want her to go. I told her I 'd care some desert. She coyly asked, `` What are you thirsty for ? '' Chocolate was the only capture verbal answer, although my eyes said otherwise. I casually noted, as if by coincidence, that I had colored chocolate in my room. As we pulled into my hotel, she was the one to suggest that she 'd like to follow up.

You could make knocked me over with a feathering. Never in a million years.

As for what happened next, Madison 's diary entry puts it in her words. She sent the Book below in an electronic mail. This is what she wrote in her diary. The action picks up after she gets into her Friend 's borrowed car and drives away from the university :

'' Dear Journal, I decided to go and meet him. The tension within myself was too great for me to have a bun in the oven, so I had to go. I think our e-mail commutation made meeting that much more exciting. I did not put much care into my underthings when getting prepare as I had no idea of what was to number. But I put on my royal blue silk dress. It is one of my deary clothes. It is a flabby, fine 100 % silk dress and it makes men want to put their blazonry around me. It is delightfully and teasingly low cut although it shows but a glimpse of cleavage. It is a very swish dress. It ties above the breasts ; I like to fancy that when men see it they just want to undo it and start kissing me. I curled my haircloth and put on lightsome makeup as well as my rose oil perfume. In my very humble but very accurate opinion, I looked lovely.

'' I drove to the urban center, and I felt a little queasy as I walked to establishment. It turned out to be the perfect tense place for our rendezvous. I like to imagine how we looked that evening, all dressed up and full of desire. I walked in, and I did not see anyone. I thought he would be sitting next to the threshold observance for me. I felt a small pang of alarm as I looked about and did not see him. But after a few seconds, he stood up and I caught visual modality of him. He was sitting in the spinal column ; I walked to him, and the moment I saw him I knew it was going to be a lovely, romantic evening. mass most often look more attractive in pictures than in actual life. But it was the opposite with him. He was so handsome. He was definitely quite a bit older than I was, but the age difference did not feel too pronounced. I felt that we were on the Saame wavelength. I wonder what were his thoughts when he first saw me. He wears ice. I love methamphetamine on a man. He was wearing a sweater that looked to be very easy and a silk tie. He has very dear taste and seemed young at pump. When I approached him, he welcomed me with an embracement and kissed me on the cheek. My heart began to waver and to melt a little. It was so romanticistic and made me feel so womanly. I wish I could own played that setting again and again. I loved him kissing me on the cheek upon meeting me. He is such a romanticist, gentlemanly man. He helped me out of my coat and pulled out my chair for me to sit down. He is absolutely my eccentric physically and intellectually. I loved his voice and his style of frock. I loved his taste in food.

'' He sat down, and we conversed a small before the waitress came over. I ordered a Pinor Noir ; he already had his vino. I was surprised that he preferred white wine-colored. With his romantic, sensual personality, I would receive thought that he would prefer a iniquity, sultry red. One thing that I found irresistibly attractive about him was his mental lexicon. most men ( indeed most advanced mass ) have a very restrain vocabulary, because people do n't read very much and stead watch inexpensive tv. I have a fairly expansive mental lexicon because I study Romance and Hellenic and because I read a lot. But I love that he used words like `` egregious '' and `` provincial. '' I thought it was very sexy.

'' We had a most pleasant conversation. We talked about traveling. I talked about my schooling and work, and he told me about his work. The tenseness between us was palpable. I loved it. I caught him looking at my white meat twice, and it made my heart beat a piffling faster. But he did not look at them in a crass way but rather in an admire way. I wondered what he was thinking when he looked. Was he wondering how voiced but business firm they would feel under his pinch ? Was he wanting to snog them softly ? Was he wondering what my nipples looked like ?

'' The ambience of the eating place was perfect. I have only been able to drink legally for a petty over a year, so I still feel the bauble of meeting person for a trash of wine-colored. It was pleasantly dim inside and the music was everlasting. Norah John Luther Jones and Frank Sinatra were playing as well as other such creative person. I just love the stress between man and womanhood. I knew that both of us were full of desire but I love the tensity before the desire is played out. I knew that he was pursuing me, and I loved it. I loved how romantic he was. He had a wondrous smile too ; it was very contagious. Oh and his hands. His hands were incredibly sexy. I do n't sleep together why, but I could not stop looking at them. They were so sexy. They looked so strong. I kept trying to keep myself from imagining them massaging my breast and kneading my second joint. Them sliding up my inner thigh and spreading my pegleg apart. Imagining his finger's breadth sliding into the glum wetness of my efflorescence ... His hands were intoxicating. It did n't help when he got up to use the restroom and as he walked behind me he put his right handwriting on my upper right arm. My centre fluttered, and I reveled in the sweetly look of desire and arousal that was blossoming inside me. I knew he was trying me to see what would happen, and I soaked up every second of it. I kept thinking about that simple touch. When he came back, he pulled his chairman closer to mine, and I felt the effect of that between my peg. Our faces got quite close at multiplication. I ca n't say that I did n't imagine his lips on the lips of my flower and his mouth enclosing my nipples inside it.

'' He said, `` How does it experience to have someone sitting so close to you who wants to stimulate know to you ? '' I said something to the event that it happens not infrequently. He said he was not surprised. He stopped a fiddling a one point and said something quietly. I asked him to repeat himself, and he said, `` You 're just so pretty. '' I felt a little bashful at such open admiration, but I also felt so attractive under his gaze. Another meter, after I caught him casting a sneak glimpse at my breasts, he said it again. `` You 're just so pretty. '' I loved that whole dinner. It felt so carnal and romantic. He kept looking at me with such astuteness in his middle. He would gaze at me for quite a recollective time, and I would sense a trivial shy.

'' But my cerebration were not just sexual to be for sure. I loved the romance of it. I loved how intelligent and well-traveled he was. And he paid for the meal which is very attractive. I had the itch to put my handwriting on the table and let him hold up it and stroke it, but I resisted the itch. He definitely was very attractive to me intellectually. He seemed to accept knowledge in a all-encompassing variety of areas. I just felt drawn to him like a attractor. I tried not to register it of course. I wanted him to pursue, not me. He looked at me in a very attracted and admiring fashion. I am certainly that I blushed a little at to the lowest degree. Oh his hands. I kept thinking about him slipping his arm around my waist. And about his hands going dangerously low.

'' When we stood up, he helped me into my coat and after it was on, he put his hands on my waist and again I felt a warm, familiar curling sentience between my legs. We walked out ; I even love even the way he walks with so practically self-confidence. We got out and it was so cold. But I love it being cold because it is so romantic. it makes one privation to snuggle up. And it gave me a thoroughgoing alibi for me to put my arm in his. I was delighted to be so tight to him. He was certainly laughing at me a little because I could n't remember where I parked, and I had never heard of putting your collar up to keep your neck opening warm. But I did n't heed it because I knew that he knew I was thinking. I loved it when he stopped to put my collar up because his aphrodisiac hands were on me a little.

'' I very much enjoyed the frigid walk back. We walked to the fiddling jet waterfall. I took his script and stepped over to the whole tone nearer the spring. His mitt are very strong. I imagine them pinning my arms over my oral sex and kissing me. Holding me devour and making me knuckle under to pleasure. I wanted a buss near the fountain but it was much too soon. I loved snuggling up to him on the walk. His arm around me or holding my hand.

'' And then he said he had deep brown in the room, and I made the fatal suggestion of going to eat chocolate in the way. I drove to the hotel, and he was very gentlemanly, opening all the doors. It made me experience very womanly. We got in the room and I flopped onto the bed. Later I discovered that such a careless front made him want to make dear to me. ``

An aside here : The older one gets, if they bother to detect how young people move, they 're much More bouncy than grownup. Imagine a group of school girls talking excitedly in a shoal hall, and you 'll get the idea. So Maddison walks into the elbow room and on her way toward the window, she bounces on the bed. It was so cunning and inadvertently sexy that I muttered to myself, `` I 'm a perfectly man. I ca n't believe this is happening. ''

Madison 's journal entry continued, `` Under the guise of going to look at the Charlotte vista, I walked over to the window, and he came up behind me. Just his familiarity made my heart beat very fast. He stood behind me and ran his fingertips on my upper berth weapons system. My upper arms are a very erogenous part of my dead body, perhaps because they are so close to my knocker. I loved it. I was becoming so aroused. He started massaging my back. His strong work force massaging my back made my knees weak, and so I went over to the bed.

'' What happened next is a delicious blur in my head, but many things stand out distinctly in my judgment. He leaned a little on the predominant side which I loved. He was certainly romancing me, making making love to me. His script were intoxicating. I loved him kissing my neck and my branch. I ca n't think what rescript things happened in, but I will call up all that I can. My will was wavering very much. When I first sat down, he started rubbing my thigh. I loved it. Watching his hands rub my thighs was heady indeed. He was arousing me so much. He took off his perspirer at one compass point and started unbuttoning his shirt, but I took over and finished unbuttoning it. I liked his chest. I liked running my hand over it and sliding my hand on his scurvy breadbasket and a little under his pants. Finally, he took off his pants. And there was his cock in all its rigorousness. So intimate. I took it in my hired hand. I touched it and played with his balls. I really liked his balls ; it was very enjoyable to me to leave him such pleasure.

'' One of my favorite voice was when he started kissing my bosom. My dress and bra were still on. But I loved it when he untied the tie on my dress. And opened me up. Exposing my cleaving to his stack and touch. I am jolly sure as shooting that I cried out loudly when his lip and hands came in liaison with my breasts. I pushed him away, but he kept on kissing and touch. Finally, I took off my bra and unzipped my apparel. He pulled my apparel over and exposed my tit. I felt myself going wild knowing that he was gazing upon it. He kissed it, and he made me drunk. The feel of his tongue on my white meat, his fingertips. I loved watching it all ; I can never feature enough of it. I am a very visual somebody. I love watching everything he does to me. The plenty is inebriating. I took off my dress, and I love what he did. He stopped what he was doing for a second, and he looked me in the eye and said, `` You are beautiful. '' And then he returned to my bosom. It felt like he could n't hold open his hands off my nipples. He was driving me to ecstasy. He would wet his digit on his natural language and play with my bosom in a manner that would force me wild. He would pull my nipples. And I loved that he was rough with them. I love it that he was not restraining himself. I remember very vividly once when he was licking my right breast. I could see his tongue running around my nipple and licking my pap. It was so sexy. I wanted that natural language on my flower.

'' I wanted him to pin me down so I wove his finger's breadth in mine and made him pin my blazon above my head. My flower was soaking. He sat on me and played with my tit. I loved it. And I loved seeing his cock so close to my facial expression. I think I sucked on his finger's breadth a little, then he slide his tool in my waiting sass, and I loved it. This is all a blur because it was so pleasurable. I wanted him to f @ # $ my lip. It was amazing. I loved him being above me and putting his cock in my mouth.

'' I loved touching him to puddle him cum. It was so sexual ! I loved seeing his aspect while I was pleasuring him. The superlative of pleasure was when he first touched me. I made him look quite for a while and build up to it. He kept touching my thigh, my internal thigh, and my ass and getting so close to my flower. I kept moving his hired man and pushing him away. I love resisting a man 's advances and making him try for it and overcome me. It is so arousing to me. I think I was getting very vocal. ``

Another aside here : James Madison moaned so loudly that I was afraid a guest in an conterminous room would scream security. I whispered in her ear to lull down, and was surprised at the beautiful agony she expended keeping her groan suppressed. Her passion was so obvious and earnest. Pure ecstasy in natural action. Nothing faked or put on.

The diary then chronicled, `` He kept getting so close to touching me and I kept moving his script. Finally he pulled me on top of him. My legs were unfold apart on either English of him. He put his hands on my ass and pulled my ass panoptic apart. I was squirming I 'm sure. He got really close and then finally plunged a finger into my flower. I felt like screaming. So often pleasure ! And I ca n't even begin to say how a great deal I loved him touching my ass. Some men do n't relish that, and I am so gladiola that he does. He ran his fingerbreadth around my ass almost like he was rimming me but with his fingerbreadth instead of his tongue. Then he laid me down with my back on the bed and started playing more with my flower. He groaned and said how undecomposed I felt. I felt his fingerbreadth wandering around my lips. I wish he could take in looked at my flower in the lamp sparkle. It is so sexy. I wonder if he liked my lips, although I am not for sure if he got much of a effective flavor at them. My plump, juicy heyday sassing are my front-runner erotic characteristic on myself. I wish I had not been on my period. I wanted him to suck on my sass so badly. Finally he sat up and partake me to beau ideal. He put a finger's breadth ( or maybe two ? I 'm not sure enough. ) in my flower and he put a finger in my ass, deep in my ass. He pushed me to the edge of ecstasy. My favorite thing of all is being fingered in the ass and peak at the same time. I love it. I did n't require it to end, although he was being a little too harsh since I had n't been touched for several calendar month. One of the most pleasurable moments was when I slowly pulled his digit out of my ass. That felt incredible. Feeling it slowly slide out of my ass. I wish I had been on my mitt and knees for him to finger my ass. But it felt amazing as it was. I think I came, although the orgasm was n't very intense. I wish I had not started my period, so I could let relaxed and enjoyed it completely.

'' I just loved the way he was sexually. A lilliputian rife. The thoroughgoing amount. Admiring and romanticist and not crass at all. Sexy and so sexual. Oh and I wished I could have brought him to orgasm orally. I deep throated him a little and loved it. I wonder if he liked it much. He was n't very song, so I could n't distinguish which affair he especially liked. I wanted to work out his orb, but I did n't. Perhaps I should have.

'' We held and cuddled afterwards. I loved it. And I loved that he kissed so many parting of my physical structure : my tum, weapon, neck. I wanted him to kiss, slug, and reversal on my right hand ear more. The unscathed Nox was delicious. The way he looked at me made me experience so feminine. If I had known this was going to happen I would have worn pretty underwear and shaved my legs and trimmed my hairsbreadth. I hope he liked my flower. I felt drunkard from pleasure.

'' But I want so much more. I want to deep throat him more. I want him to savor me. I want the form up to take even longer. I want him to hold me more than. If I see him again, it is not going to be any easier for him. I want to stand firm just as much and make him try for me. He has to overwhelm me to get to my breasts and peak. I just love the interplay of the masculine and the feminine, and he is so expert at evoking the opinion of contrast between man and womanhood. That is what romance is. I want his warm hands to lie me down on the bed and slowly spread my legs apart and then tease me. Run his fingertips around the synopsis of my underwear. Breathe tender breath on my bloom through my underclothes. draw out my underclothes to the side and gaze upon my flower. Trace around my prime with his fingertip but take in so long to equal it to drive me barbarian from desire. I want elongated teasing.

'' The first time he saw my breasts, I felt so feminine. I want to eff what he was thinking at each portion. I want to recognize what he thought when his pecker was in my throat. He told me what he thought of my white meat : that Grecians must have used a mannequin like me in sculpting their statues. He is so amatory and so masculine. I love it. I want to know if he really saw my ass. It is so sexy and full and one shot. I want to know how much he wanted to snog me at dinner. I want to have sex what he thought when he first laid center on me. I want to sleep together what he thought when he caught a glance of my cleavage. I want to fuck what he thought of my cushy skin. I want to screw all his thoughts about everything in the evening. I want to sleep together every dimension of his desire for me. I want him to see the fullness of my ass and hips, to look up to me more in all my alluring femininity.

'' There is so much more. I feel like I am just scratching the surface. I ca n't facilitate but wonder if he has many experiences like this in his business travels. Maybe I am but one of many lover he encounters often in his travels. Ah well. One can never know. He is bountiful, posh, and romantic, so I would not be surprised if many women fell for him and want him.

'' Oh well. I want him, and had him, tonight. ``

And Madison did have me that night ... and in my storage, many more than nighttime after that.

While it might seem strange, we never had coitus. She was saving herself for her husband, whomever that lucky man would grow out to be. And honestly, I did n't miss it for a consequence. It was the most devout and titillating encounter I 've ever had. It just proves that it 's not what you do, but whom you do it with, that topic most.

Madison and I would see each other two Sir Thomas More times before she graduated and began traveling abroad. The survey times were Sir Thomas More intense and physical, involving lots of oral sex, deep throating, 69ing, and anal retentive experiment. After one particularly exhausting round of culmination, she snuggled against me and fell asleep with her forefront on my thorax. While I was n't catching her from a slip on the ice, I was providing a balmy and rubber landing for this odd and sexy young woman.

During the last two encounters, she liked me being the polite aggressor, and there would be no question as to whether she orgasmed. I always knew when I 'd succeeded because she 'd literally have quake through her toned quads that would quake and spasm for moment afterwards. I 'd utilize the one-in-ass-two-in-the-pussy technique multiple times, and often while sucking her goodly labia. And that ass ; oh my gosh. A perfect puckered tap penny-sized asshole that begged to be rimmed, licked and penetrated. Every part of Madison was just so bedamn fetching.

A part of me fell in love with this young adult female, but my dedication to my class prevented me from acting on any of the fantasies I created, including paying for Madison 's post-graduate work in my home city so I could see her More often.

As it became clear-cut that we would not belike see each former again, our email became more infrequent. Every so often I 'd get a missive like, `` I want your tongue so badly. Your glossa is unbelievable. Magical. I want you to make my thigh tremble. I want to be really f # @ % ed in the ass too. draw me scream ! '' My all-time dearie was, `` You have no thought how uncivilized I am feeling ! I want you to ravish my body right now ! I would clobber your ass for an hour right now if we were together. I think the more dominant you are, the more inclined I would be to want to lick ass ... concord me down, put your cock down my throat, maybe even tie me up a bit. I want you dreadfully ! ``

Madison ended up settling permanently in Eastern Europe. She teaches there now. As often as I fantasized about seeing her again and trying to think a future with her, there was none that I could make a reality. We both needed to move on. We had no future that I could make real. I let go.

It 's been a few years since I received an e-mail from Madison. Perhaps thinking about her own need for redemption, that last electronic mail was sent on Easter.

The banknote included one of the kindest matter anyone has ever written to me. She knew that I struggled with why she was attracted to me. I kept asking myself, `` Why me ? '' My thoughts were that perhaps I was some kind of loving maternal figure ? Rather forcefully, she corrected me, `` I was not attracted to because you were previous. I was attracted to you, and you happened to be older. That 's all. ``

As I read that, the jam in my heart shrank a piddling, and my need to run to the shadows lessened for a meter.

Sometime my judgement wonder if we 'll ever cross paths again. Will the desires that first drove us into the phantom ever bring us back together, even years from now ? To this day, whenever I make a connexion through the Atlanta airport - Madison 's home base townsfolk - I catch myself thinking of her.

Author 's Federal Reserve note : I welcome notes from women about this story, either publicly or via the note option. Chicago440 on the three-lettered chat arrangement that begins and ends with the `` k '' strait and has an eye in the middle .