alphabetic character to a love. We all have had someone in our lifetime that we'e truly loved, some of us still have them in our life, others, like me, have lost them.
To my honey sweetheart,

well, it 's been three years since the concluding fourth dimension I saw you. Three eld since I 've heard your laughter. Three years since I 've given you a hug. Three of the longest and most low years of my life.

There is n't a day that goes by that I do n't reckon about you, talk to you, even though you 're not physically there, I still talk to you and trust you can see me. Every time I close my eye, I see your smiling face. There are prison term I 'll be out, and swear I hear your laugh across the way.

I 've been camping one, maybe two times since you left. It 's just not the Sami without you to nibble on me around the fire. We have n't been out on the four wheeler either, I kinda omit my skinny little passenger. I have n't been out fourwheeling either, that was supposed to be `` our day '' we had planned, that never happened.

The last three years, I 've more or less form of existed. Sure, I 've tried to incite on, find a new family relationship, but, something always falls apart, or gets in the way. Distance, time, personallity conflict, all have been factors in why goose egg works out. Try as I might, I ca n't get you out of my drumhead, or my pump. I 'm reminded of something your mom said, the day we buried you .... `` I hope he lives a tenacious and healthy sprightliness, and every time he closes his center, he sees you, to remind him of the hellhole that he 's caused. '' Trust me sweetheart, I do.

I 'm not sure whom she meant that set phrase toward, but, I do get laid deep down, I 'm at to the lowest degree partially, if not wholy, responsible. Never once did I mean to bruise, or neglect you, apparently, I failed miserably. I pay for my loser on a day-by-day, basis, and for hurting you, I 'm truly sorry.

I 'm sorry that I let you down in so very many ways. Not supporting, and caring enough. There were ground behind it, some of which you knew, others, I 'm just learning myself. One of the biggest reasons was the fact that I truly did love you completely, but, could n't show it to you in the right ways, our luck prevented me showing you my dearest. I know, it 's no self-justification, I should throw found the way to do it properly, but, I was honestly scared. Scared that my situation would get worse, but, more scared that you would actually reject my love, which would beat out what little flavor I had. There was also a social aspect knockout, the love I had, was n't socially acceptable, well, at least toward you mass would lower. I wanted nothing more than to pull out you close, kiss you softly, and hold you as we walked through the shopping mall or somewhere else. Knowing how guild works, that could n't happen. I would have been seen as something horrifying, nevermind the fact that there was a straight deep beloved in my spunk

I 'm learning more every day, seeing things now, that I missed then. The petty things, the smiles at just me, even when you were crying. The way your eyes seemed to fall up. The times that you 'd want to spend meter just the two of us. The random hugs, the occasional `` I love you '' when we were home alone. I realize now, you never said it in front of anyone else, it was always something between you and I. I missed so many of the lilliputian mansion you had given me that I would n't be rejected. But, sadly, it 's too former to interchange any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently.
I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It 's my gist, and some days, I truly do battle with it. The words are just words, i can say `` I 'm sorry '' a billion metre a day, and it would n't draw any divergence. No amount of `` I 'm drab '' can bring you back, or study away the painfulness that I 've caused. The simply `` I 'm deplorable '' that really issue, is the one inscrutable inside of my substance, that I hope that you can sense, and hear when I talk to you. That impression of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I 'm excommunicate to experience the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.

My biography will never be entirely again. I will continue to survive, probably for a very hanker time, but, I 'll never sense as truly happy as I did. Three hanker year, is just the starting time stone's throw into the life that I will moderate. That life started June 17, 2011, the journey will never end. There may be minute of bliss, and felicity scattered in there, but, forever will I remember what I caused. I truly am so very disconsolate my mellifluous sweeth Kaitlyn, I pray that one day, you can forgive me. I 'm not sure that you can, or will, and, if not, I do understand. If you do, or can, I 'm eternally grateful to you. Either way, I 'm glad, and proud to have shared in your life for as hanker as I had, I just wish that I could have done better.
We ca n't convert our past tense, only hope that our past tense does n't destroy our future. When I told you that I loved you, you may have thought differently than I did, I love loved you, where you may have seen it as a dissimilar character of honey, I 'm sorry for never telling, or showing you how I loved you. Who knows, if I had, maybe you 'd still be physically here instead of only having to hold on to your memory board. I love you, and have loved you for a very foresightful prison term, I just wish I had been smart enough to show you.


Lovingly,

Chris